FIBROMYALGIA: I don’t pretend to be sick, I pretend to be healthy

If you don’t know me well enough or if you are part of my family, you can sometimes think that I was pretending to be sick.

You may think that you may not be tired all the time or that it is impossible for someone to live in constant pain and I wish that were the case and I, like many others, I had no experience for our family and our family. knowledge

Pretending to work well every day until brutal torture and we can only meet half of our obligations swollen pills and painkillers, difficult to drag when I finally got home, we can’t move or intense and unbearable pain and a painful exhaustion that never ends. recovered.

But after all, I have no choice but to pretend to be good.

It is much easier to pretend and show me that things are going well because I don’t have to defend myself like that. I don’t have to explain to someone that life is possible in constant and constant pain.

I don’t have to go back to list the symptoms with someone who is not interested. I don’t have to justify relentless fatigue. I don’t have to explain why I haven’t been to the gym or the pool before. I would like to go, but I am not.

I don’t quite understand why I think I must pretend to be good, while the opposite happens. Why is the opinion of others so important? Why don’t I care what they think?

I am tired, very tired of trying to explain what I really am, I explained to family and friends that I did not understand my everyday reality, I even said that the doctors looked at me with disbelief and was asked “Say it is not possible.” This worsens the symptoms.

A little bit yes, thank goodness, but not the majority and maybe that’s why I developed great skills as an actor in a role I never asked to touch.

It’s crazy, but sometimes I feel like a criminal who constantly being judged by people who don’t know anything about me or my life, and this world is better to pretend that those you barely know or don’t know don’t give you tips you must do it without having any idea or believing that it is better than I know how I am and what affects me or not.

Even if it costs me, I always try to be nice when someone asks me how I am. It is a question that sometimes infuriates me because I cannot tell the truth, but I stop and try to change the subject or try to resolve it with a brief “I’m fine”.

I could say: “Today I can get out of bed without help” or “I did something better for a few days if the pain gave me a rest” or “This week is hell because I am going through a crisis”,

But it would make me justify my situation again, because I had to explain why I feel that way, and I probably won’t believe it, so the answer is never the truth.

I would like to stop pretending that I feel good and show my true condition, I would like those who ask me to take a real interest in my condition and not see or hear it, since others suspect that I am lying when I tell them. real

Do you have a need to pretend you’re okay if you’re not? Do you want to change that?

If it was useful, reply and share. Gacias! 

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